Viagra Wins The War On Terror

We all know that sex sells. Perhaps not as much with the economy in such bad shape, but still we can't deny it. Today I found out something else about sex, by helping people have it, you can fight terrorism. An article in the Washington Post explains how CIA agents were able to convince older Warlords to try the drug in hopes of gaining their trust. Some days later on the agents return trip the Warlords were very pleased, one is quoted saying "you are a great man" when greeting the clever CIA folks. By pleasing the Warlords the CIA is given more freedom to conduct its 'business' and keep us safe here back home.

Let's look at the basics of using Viagra vs not using it.

Without;
Terrorism -> CIA -> unhappy Warlords -> Terrorism

With;
Terrorism -> CIA -> Viagra -> Warlords doing what Warlords love to do --> Less Terrorism

It's so simple it's scary.

So ok, 60 year old Warlords with many young wives love Viagra. Makes perfect sense. It got me wondering what else is Viagra doing around the world these days. It's one of many items moved through tunnels connecting Gaza to the Egyptian border. Some may say these items are being smuggled. If you mean smuggled as under the radar, then sure. But if you mean smuggled like they are doing something wrong, I have to disagree. Items other then the glorious Viagra making their way through the tunnel, examples being livestock and fuel. The people in Gaza won't be enjoying nice things such as food and power soon. If a guy in Milwaukee knows about these tunnels... well you get the picture.

Three unfortunates were caught stealing Viagra in New Delhi, they had been at it for a while. How about David Vos out of Elkhorn, Wisconsin. Caught selling Viagra to an undercover police officer. Deputy DA Joshua Gruba isn't too worried about Vos. It's not like he's selling heroin or cocaine, although there is a price to pay. And what is the price of selling $80 of illegal Viagra to an under cover cop? 90 days in Jail. Exciting.

Lastly, Viagra is dead, or will be someday. That's if you want to get a microchip implanted in your brain instead of taking a little blue pill. Scientists at Oxford University working on treatment for Parkinson's disease have found that stimulating the obritofrontal cortex one can increase their sex drive. I can't wait to see spam emails for sexual enhancement through brain surgery in my inbox!

Money Is a Jerkface

I finally read an article about the 50 billion dollars Bernard Maddoff scam that doesn't have to do with the richest of the rich losing some coin. It has to do with an investment manager with a cool name committing suicide because he couldn't cope with the pressure. Thierry de la Villehuchet was responsible for $2.1 billion dollars lost to Madoff. Worth taking one's own life? I'd like to think not. Either way it looks like Donny Trumpy might actually be right calling Madoff a 'sleazebag'.

I decided to look up some other financial figures showing up in the news lately, trying to gain some perspective, here we go;

New York Yankees must pay 26.9 Million dollar luxury tax as ordered by Commissioner Bud Selig.

Speaking of the Yankees they just signed CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett and Mark Teixeira to a combine 413.5 million dollars. In the time between signing both of the gents the Yankees asked the city of New York for another 370 million dollars. Which is on top of the already 960 million dollars granted. Yes that total is 1.33 billion dollars.

How about them Cubs? The Tribune company is looking to sell the slightly lovable losers for around 1 billion dollars.

The 10 largest active MLB contracts total 1.9 billion dollars. Adjusted this total with the Teixeira signing from today.

Bailout... That little bailout that our economy refuses to notice. Don't worry little bailout there are some that will remember you fondly, bank excecs receive about 1.6 billion dollars.

Auto Bailout! Not to be confused with the other bailouts. The big three will only get 13.4 billion dollars and not a penny more. Way to stay firm President Bush.

I-94 between Milwaukee and the Illinois state border will most likely be expanding from 3 to 4 lanes for a mere 1.9 billion dollars. A hopefully successful campaign by the Milwaukee Common Council and the American Civil Liberties Union will put a stop to it.

What about the President Elect Barrack Obama? Around 150 billion dollars over 10 years in energy R&D. I won't be mad if there is something to show for it at the end.

The total, 271 billion 78 million dollars, and change. Quite a bit for such a short list. Adding the 700 billion dollar Emergency Economic Stabilization Act.. we nearly reach 1 trillion dollars.

What perspective did I gain from this? I feel dirty typing the words '1 trillion dollars'.

Have no fear fellow Americans, The Onion reminds us all that we will find ways to prevail!

Professor Liu Xiaobo still in jail.

Those living in China had seen increased freedom of speech due to hosting the 2008 Olympic games. 'Business as usual' has returned. In the past number of months we have seen a steep increase in the number of blocked web domains in China(To be fair, it might not be a bad idea to block outside of NYC anyway, harhar) . For those in China 'business as usual' also means risk of incarceration for speaking out... or just signing a petition...

Capitalistic Communism at it's finest. I'm sure the powers that be (and the wealthy) in China never read news on sites that are blocked in their boarders