Money Is a Jerkface

I finally read an article about the 50 billion dollars Bernard Maddoff scam that doesn't have to do with the richest of the rich losing some coin. It has to do with an investment manager with a cool name committing suicide because he couldn't cope with the pressure. Thierry de la Villehuchet was responsible for $2.1 billion dollars lost to Madoff. Worth taking one's own life? I'd like to think not. Either way it looks like Donny Trumpy might actually be right calling Madoff a 'sleazebag'.

I decided to look up some other financial figures showing up in the news lately, trying to gain some perspective, here we go;

New York Yankees must pay 26.9 Million dollar luxury tax as ordered by Commissioner Bud Selig.

Speaking of the Yankees they just signed CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett and Mark Teixeira to a combine 413.5 million dollars. In the time between signing both of the gents the Yankees asked the city of New York for another 370 million dollars. Which is on top of the already 960 million dollars granted. Yes that total is 1.33 billion dollars.

How about them Cubs? The Tribune company is looking to sell the slightly lovable losers for around 1 billion dollars.

The 10 largest active MLB contracts total 1.9 billion dollars. Adjusted this total with the Teixeira signing from today.

Bailout... That little bailout that our economy refuses to notice. Don't worry little bailout there are some that will remember you fondly, bank excecs receive about 1.6 billion dollars.

Auto Bailout! Not to be confused with the other bailouts. The big three will only get 13.4 billion dollars and not a penny more. Way to stay firm President Bush.

I-94 between Milwaukee and the Illinois state border will most likely be expanding from 3 to 4 lanes for a mere 1.9 billion dollars. A hopefully successful campaign by the Milwaukee Common Council and the American Civil Liberties Union will put a stop to it.

What about the President Elect Barrack Obama? Around 150 billion dollars over 10 years in energy R&D. I won't be mad if there is something to show for it at the end.

The total, 271 billion 78 million dollars, and change. Quite a bit for such a short list. Adding the 700 billion dollar Emergency Economic Stabilization Act.. we nearly reach 1 trillion dollars.

What perspective did I gain from this? I feel dirty typing the words '1 trillion dollars'.

Have no fear fellow Americans, The Onion reminds us all that we will find ways to prevail!